


The memories of your past deletes the past of your present

by SOLDiERING_Iron (purpose_miner)



Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, I'm with you 'til the end of the line, M/M, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Steve Feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-23
Updated: 2017-03-23
Packaged: 2018-10-09 15:07:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10414905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/purpose_miner/pseuds/SOLDiERING_Iron
Summary: When Steve found Bucky after CA:TWS, or rather Bucky him, he never let him go again. But the ghosts of the past will never rest, they try to snatch Bucky from the present without stopping, but Steve has a weapon against them: the past – their past that can overide the present.





	

You’re tormented by your memories. Again. I know it not because you told me. I just know. From the way you keep stirring your breakfast oatmeal in the porcelain. Ten round to the right. – Ten round to the left. – One bite. – Repeat. From how the clear blue of your eyes turned grey. And from the lifeless and alien look on your face, that is a grotesque mirror of your vibrant past-self.

In your dream you once again fell into the death-cold abyss, where a red star, dripping with blood, stared down at you from the snow coated gray sky. At least, that’s how you told me one night, trembling in my arms, with a still wandering mind after ripping yourself out of the cruel claws of your nightmare with a grievous cry.

I’ve got you back, but from time to time I still feel like I’m losing you again. When the present slips through your fingers… when your lungs fiercly reject the oxygen, or when the murder-tinted memories mute you, strangle your words right at the back of your throat for days.

You scare me, but for you, I’ll always be brave. And when it’s needed to anchor you into the present, I’ll kiss you with the memories of our past, hoping you can find your way back to me, to our now.

I promise I won’t lose hold of you again. Never ever.

 

**Author's Note:**

> This is a translation of one of my drabbles with minor changes for this inspiration:  
>  _"Your lights are on, but you're not home_  
>  Your mind is not your own  
> Your heart sweats, your body shakes  
> Another kiss is what it takes  
> You can't sleep, you can't eat  
> There's no doubt, you're in deep  
> Your throat is tight, you can't breathe  
> Another kiss is all you need"  
> ~ Alex Clare – Addicted to Love
> 
> If you find any mistake, please let me know. :)
> 
> Also I'm gonna do Camp NaNoWriMo this April and we still have free bunks in our cabin, so if you're interested, feel free to shoot me an ask in pm or [here](https://scientificallyfrostedtrenchcoat.tumblr.com/).


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